Am I Flexible?

The cell phone disturbed the conclusion of a long and busy day. Company had just left, and it was late.

“Do I answer the call?” I thought. Do I have to always be so flexible?

That call was from a neighbor whose husband was ready to commit suicide. I left home late at night to find him. He came to the Lord that night and is now a faithful servant in our church. Oh, if only I would always be flexible.

By flexible, I do not mean I need to be able to touch my toes—a bit difficult for me at present. I mean, I need to be flexible with personalities, time, and circumstances. These are crucial to discipleship.

Flexibility with Personalities

What does flexibility look like practically?

I grew up in a fun-loving, witty family. When I entered the workforce and later went away to Bible college, I came across people who seemed, in my limited experience, to be somewhat stoic and unappreciative of my fun-loving attitude. I learned quickly that not everyone has the same background, experiences, and mindset that I have. I had to learn by experience that I would need to be flexible to adjust to different personalities to be able to minister to them.

Forcing my witty humor on people who do not appreciate it would only frustrate and offend them. I had to learn, and am still learning, to understand different people, their idiosyncrasies, and how I can help them become like Christ. Flexibility with my own preferences helps me minister to everyone with whom I come in contact.

Our first year in Africa we were overwhelmed with learning a new language and culture. Everything seemed so foreign to anything we had ever known. Yet, as those things became more normal and I began to recognize common personality, I found myself saying that this particular African reminded me of a roommate I had in college, or that African reminded me of an organist who ministered in our church when I was a child. Experiences of adjusting and navigating certain personality traits with everyone I met became valuable. It helped me gain and maintain disciples. Learning to adjust to the various personalities around me made it easier to minister to those in another culture, because at the core, “people are people” everywhere.

Flexibility with Time

Although flexibility with personalities is essential, flexibility with time and circumstances are equally important to making disciples. In Zambia, many people lack the privilege of full-time work. Every day, all day, I could drive to the farms and villages and minister to many in our church and in our town. I found that people very quickly grew spiritually because of their availability. We had church leaders in no time.

When we relocated to South Africa, almost everyone we ministered to had work. It became very difficult for me even to meet with people. It was clear that if I waited for people to be available, I would never be able to disciple. I started getting everyone’s work schedule. I began meeting people during their lunch break at work or before or after they went to work. Many of these disciples did shift work. I had to be flexible to change my schedule week by week in order to have any sustained relationship with people.

I often had church members call me to ask if their loved one with whom they lived was working. I would laugh and say, “But you live with them—don’t you know if they are working right now?” They knew that, by default, I asked for everyone’s schedule in order to plan church activities or individual discipleship visits. This was a way in which I could adjust my schedule to theirs, rather than have everyone adjust to mine.  

Flexibility with Circumstances

I also need flexibility to adjust to individual circumstances among disciples. Many of those whom I teach come from households of unsaved family members. I have, on occasion, been in the middle of a Bible study in a house where drug deals and illegal business were going on in the next room—to my dismay. Because of the atmosphere and the possible embarrassment or intimidation on the part of disciples to meet with me in their home, I decided to have them meet me in my little Toyota in front of their house. Sometimes we would drive to a quiet place. This delivered us out of the distractions, loud music, TV playing, and sinful atmosphere, and gave us some undivided time to study the Scripture together and pray. This flexibility made them more likely to meet with me.

Are you flexible or do you require people to adjust to you?

You can find hope with me as I continue daily to learn from the Apostle Paul’s example:

 1 Corinthians 9:22-23
22  To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.
23  And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.