The Lord is generous in His commendations of faithful believers no matter their elevated role or their obscurity. To stir ourselves to do likewise, we will consider New Testament examples of appropriate commendation. We all like to be appreciated, so let us learn how to “outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10b).

Fundamental Truths About Commendation

God commands commendation of others when it is appropriate.

Paul wrote to the Philippians regarding Epaphroditus and men like him, “So receive him in the Lord with all joy and honor such men” (Philippians 2:29). This man had risked his life for the work of Christ as he journeyed to Rome to aid Paul (v. 30). Not only those who do extraordinary efforts for the Gospel ought to be commended, but the faithful servant of God’s people, such as an elder in the church, is also “worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in the preaching and teaching” (1 Timothy 5:17). But God’s commands to commend others extend beyond church leaders. As quoted above, the whole church is exhorted to “outdo one another in showing honor.” The first half of that verse teaches that believers “love one another with brotherly affection” in part by honest and profuse commendation of each other. Obedience to this one verse would solve most church disputes!

We must value others more than self.

Paul exhorts the Philippians with these words: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). A major hindrance to our commending others is our self-focus. We are ambitious for our own glory; we love commendation from others. The KJV translates “conceit” as “vain glory,” suggesting the vanity of focus on self. We argue in our depraved hearts and minds that others are not more significant, are not “better” (KJV) than we are. The issue is simply pride, and the need is humility. We can test ourselves in this. As noted above, we are to outdo one another in showing honor. This is to be demonstrable. Can you genuinely esteem others more important than yourself? Does anyone notice this attitude in your words and actions?

Common Mistakes in Commendation

Overrating oneself

The most basic mistake is to overrate oneself. This is easy to do since we have a built-in propensity to evaluate ourselves favorably in comparison to others. Paul deals with this in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding” (ESV).

He understood that some among the Corinthians were claiming great authority and expecting others to honor them. Proud, and using the yardstick of each other’s supposed spirituality, they were in fact “without understanding.” They were vastly overrating themselves and were “not wise” (KJV) in doing so. In contrast, Paul states that he could not and would not boast in that way but would only speak of what God had measured out to him in ministry opportunity (2 Corinthians 10:13–15).  

Wrongly evaluating spirituality and spiritual power

Another mistake is to misunderstand how to evaluate spirituality and spiritual power. The interlopers in Corinth, as do many self-styled spiritual leaders today, thought spiritual power comes from popularity, a powerful bodily presence, dynamic gestures, energetic movement, a powerful voice or skillful oratory (2 Corinthians 10:10). Such people like to evaluate themselves not by God’s standards but to measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves among themselves (10:12). Their measuring rod is far off the standard. It is not the manner of speaking that is spiritually powerful but the content and reliance upon the Lord. The standard is not another preacher’s style or pulpit skill. Paul’s detractors said his letters were “weighty and powerful,” but his bodily presence was “weak” and his speech was “contemptible,” not just unworthy of attention but worthy of disdain. Their assessment could hardly have been more wrong. Does Paul bold speech to the philosophers on Mars Hill in Athens sound like one whose speech is of “no account”? Most often whenever Paul taught or preached, this supposedly weak, ineffective speaker saw wonderful fruit and churches planted—in sharp contrast to his detractors.  

Commending oneself

Paul points out further that commending oneself is a mistake. Many of those so quick to prejudge Paul or to negatively evaluate his physical presence, were just as quick to assume themselves approved by the Lord. This is mistaken because we are not only prone to pride and jealousy, but we can also have other wrong motives. Due to our fallen nature, we are often unable to assess those motives accurately. Paul suggests our ineptitude when he asserts that commendation is fully accurate only when done by the Lord. What matters is not the assessment of critics or of oneself, but that which comes from the Lord: “… it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends” (2 Corinthians 10:17–18). Avoid commending yourself but rather meditate on the truth that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).

Evaluating without personal acquaintance

Some of Paul’s critics in Corinth had not met him and were basing their criticism of him on public reports and were further skewed by their own ambition and prejudice. For instance, some thought Paul’s letters and Paul’s personal presence would prove him cowardly and unable to follow through on his warnings. He assured them: “Let such a person understand that what we say by letter when absent, we do when present” (2 Corinthians 10:11). He is warning them that if they do not reform their ways, he will perform what he has threatened in his letters. Some may have known him from his earlier visits, and some may have only heard about him or read his letters to the Church. In any case, most of these critics were greatly misjudging him and would have been in for a shock if Paul visited again.                                       

Commendation Examples

Paul was sometimes savagely criticized, but he rose above such injustice and puerile assessment, not responding in kind, but rather taking every opportunity to praise believers. A sterling example of this is his closing chapter of the letter to the Romans. Paul takes much of that chapter to commend various believers, many of whom we know nothing about other than this brief mention of their names and their commendable qualities. Incredibly, he takes the time to commend 26 individuals and, in many cases give a reason for the commendation. How encouraged Phoebe, Prisca, Aquila, Adronicus and Junia, to name a few, must have been by Paul’s evident love and awareness of their personal character! Keep in mind that God Himself commends some very imperfect believers in His list of those who despite their failures nevertheless exemplified living by faith (see Hebrews 11:32, men such as Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel, and the prophets). Follow the apostolic example—look today for someone to commend, and do it!